really mad that white privilege exists now and im also really mad i benefit from it uuuuuuuuuuuugh
I’m sure what I’m about to say is a major Dick Move but you can take solace in the fact that it’s okay if you hate me.
If you follow me here you’ve probably done so for almost 6 months or more. The reason I made the blog jump is because of the people I felt were friends didnt consider me a friend, and so instead I made a blog where the friendship feeling is mutual. This blog worked for that for some time until I started needing to take breaks from people who made me feel like they were above me in some way.
That was a big thing at VidCon, I felt less community, more “we talk a bit because we like each other, but theres not much mutual respect here” and I know a lot of that feeling was self set and not any of your fault but I felt like a lot of my friends had a lot of followers and got pretty untouchable.
So after meeting Sarsh who was my first friend in the RT fandom, I started spending more time on that blog, where connecting over a shared intrest is easier than saying, “yeah I’m a fifteen year old girl who has some interest in being your friend, be mine?” and I’ve learnt through therapy that I believe respect is the number one thing in any relationship whether that be lovers or CEO to low-rung employee, and the demonstration or absence of it can make or break a situation.
I felt like I wasn’t respected as an individual, it was easy to come out as genderqueer, but people still called me by she/her pronouns (which is okay enough, I just prefer they/their). The focus on age was another thing, maybe because I wasnt shy about it like I am now. I remember a whilke back when Kaileigh and I were still friends and she kept getting messages that were wounderous about the fact that she was so young and I felt jealousy for the interaction, but mostly because thats the interaction I get offline.
I am a naturally extroverted person and feeling like I’m in public on this website, which I am, and not getting the attention of anyone, even people who were my friends, deeply hurt me. It’s like when you’re hanging out with your friends and they’re all talking about something and whenever you say something, nobody notices.
tldr; i still love you guys, and feel free to reach out on my RT blog or my personal blog because my pb is shared with my other account, but I feel excluded and left out and I’m finding other friendships easier with a stationary shared interest. Sorry if this seems a little rude/a lot rude. I still love you a lot
ask my other blog: achievehunt if you want my pb, or just if you want to talk to me.
ONE MORE PRESENT BOX TO GIVE AWAY - 150 FOLLOWER GIVEAWAY
do you want a christmas care package? Miscellaneous items like maybe personalized mixtapes or stuffed animals already barely used or a fresh out of the canister tennis ball or even a signed copy of Allie Condie’s Matched (first edition)? You’ll be getting about a shoebox full of items that there is no guarantee you’ll love from the things I don’t use anymore!
This is a mini giveaway until Wednesday, December 4 (5 PM PST)
- be following me
- reblog or like this post (no giveaway blogs please)
- make sure you’re okay with giving me your address
It’s free so have fun with it!
new glasses (+ i tried smokey eye for the first time)
i triple dog dare you to kiss me